it’s all in my head, it’s all in my head

the only light in the room came from the computer screen and the candles that i kept on my desk to refrain my eyes from getting too sore while i worked, late thursday night. i put the top down, and the reflection in my pupils went from a sliver of silver to the heaviest of browns. 

i lit a cigarette and kicked my feet up onto the edge of the desk, leaning back and breathing the fresh air of two in the morning in. the air is so clean that late at night, when no one is awake to pollute it. the only ones that are up at the time are those stumbling drunkards from bars galore or the insomniacs, neither category of which i’d ever fit into for years.

i couldn’t hear you come up behind me. my eyes were closed and i was reciting belle and sebastian lyrics in my head when your fingertips climbed up the nape of my neck. i was not startled. you traced my jaw with the padding of your thumb and i leaned into you, closing my eyes and getting as close to purring as any human could. the golden sanskrit necklace you’d convinced me of allowing you to buy meas a gift, although i said i didn’t want one, caught the light of the candles and the spark between us and shined for half a second. 

our bodies folded into each other as you towered over me, hand on either side, staring at my closed lids, waiting to jump the instant they opened. i opened them as slowly as i could, so as to keep this dream from fading and then everything was so fast. we were moving, i was in your arms, my legs cross over one another, my hair coming lose and the pencil that held my bun taught falling to the floor. you spun around, holding me, and in both of our imaginations, the same song was playing.

we glided through doorways and into our sanctuary. you draped my on the bed, and not one word was spoken this entire time. we felt so young. i looked at you with such innocence, it was like i’d never been raised in a emotionless city. 

you crouched over me one more time, placed your fingers around the back of my neck and pulled me up to meet you and our noses touched. i wrapped my arms around the nape of your neck and you twisted swiftly, so that now i was the leaning over you. i was puzzled at how much like a dancer you seemed, you were most elegant.

there’s more eventually